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Uahh steht für alles und nichts aus der IT
26.10.2009
Aktuell wird gerade ein neuer Service für deutsche Anbieter vorbereitet: in bestimmten Fällen soll so offiziell ein anonymes Impressum für die eigene Domain möglich sein. Ein interessantes Projekt, zu dem hier mehr Details gefunden werden können: http://anonymes-impressum.de
Tags: Allgemeines | 0 Kommentare
16.10.2009
... sagte der Fleischerei-Fachverkäufer zu mir:
"Ich habe jetzt übrigens auch Windows Fiesta bei mir installiert."
und ein wenig später
"Ich bin jetzt auch bei StayFreund."
Tags: Support-Anekdoten |
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Kommentare
23.02.2009
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http://uahh.de/blog/anfrage-am-rosenmontag" title="Anfrage am Rosenmontag">Anfrage am Rosenmontag
Liebes IT-Team,
die große Druckmaschine hier auf unserem Flur fragt nach einer neuen Trommlereinheit A4. Können Sie das bitte überprüfen?
Mögliche Antwort:
Gerade heute am Rosenmontag ist es natürlich schwer, gleich ein ganzes Trommler-Orchester zu finden (sind alle auf dem Zuch), aber wir tun unser Möglichstes. :-)
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Tags:
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Kommentare
08.08.2008
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http://uahh.de/blog/anfrage-im-auftrag-der-kollegin" title="Anfrage im Auftrag der Kollegin">Anfrage im Auftrag der Kollegin
Liebe Kollegen,
Frau ... bekommt folgende Fehlermeldung: "Drahtlos Netzwerk erkannt"
Ist das o.k.?
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Tags:
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Kommentare
08.12.2006
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http://uahh.de/blog/server-security-mal-anders" title="Server-Security mal anders">Server-Security mal anders
... da kommt auch kein Virus mehr durch. :-)
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Tags:
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Kommentare
08.12.2006
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
http://uahh.de/blog/support-kr%C3%BCmel-xi" title="Support-Krümel XI">Support-Krümel XI
"Mein PC geht nicht an..."
"Sind denn alle Kabel drin?"
"Kann ich nicht sehen."
"Warum nicht?"
"Das Licht im Zimmer geht auch nicht an."
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Tags:
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Kommentare
04.04.2006
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http://uahh.de/blog/support-kr%C3%BCmel-x" title="Support-Krümel X">Support-Krümel X
Wir lieben gute Rätsel...
Zitat aus einer weitergeleiteten Mail an die EDV:
"Liebe [Name entfernt], wenn man Deine e-mail-Adresse automatisch generiert, kommt das mail nicht bei Dir an.
Vielleicht möchtest Du dasmal der EDV mitteilen?"
Ein Auszug spontaner möglicher Fragen:
- Was ist eine "automatische Generierung"?
- In welchem Programm?
- Interner oder externer E-Mail-Versand?
- Gibt es eine Fehlermeldung?
- Wird stattdessen ein anderer Adressat eingeblendet?
- Geht das Mail raus und kommt unzustellbar zurück?
- ...
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Tags:
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91
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in system/themes/georgia/home.php line 11
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Kommentare
10.02.2006
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 91
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 91
Notice: Undefined index: Error in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 182
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in system/classes/databaseconnection.php line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 91
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 91
Notice: Undefined index: Error in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 182
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in system/classes/inforecords.php line 96
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 91
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 91
Notice: Undefined index: Error in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 182
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http://uahh.de/blog/tafel-e-mail" title="Tafel-E-Mail">Tafel-E-Mail
Ein E-Mail mal ganz anders:
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line
91
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line
290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line
91
Notice: Undefined index: Error in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line
182
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pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line
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Tags:
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in system/classes/databaseconnection.php line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line
91
Notice: Undefined index: Error in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in system/classes/databaseconnection.php line 290
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in system/themes/georgia/home.php line 10
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in system/themes/georgia/home.php line 10
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in system/classes/databaseconnection.php line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in system/themes/georgia/home.php line 11
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
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Notice: Trying to get property of non-object in system/themes/georgia/home.php line 11
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
/home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [
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Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in
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Kommentare
18.01.2006
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 91
Notice: Undefined index: Error in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 182
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in system/classes/databaseconnection.php line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 91
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
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Notice: Undefined index: Error in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/logentry.php on line 182
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
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Warning: PDOStatement::execute() [pdostatement.execute]: SQLSTATE[HY000]: General error: 2006 MySQL server has gone away in /home/uahhde/public_html/blog/system/classes/databaseconnection.php on line 290
http://uahh.de/blog/beratungsgeb%C3%BChren" title="Beratungsgebühren">Beratungsgebühren
Eine wirklich gute Idee, die sich in vielen Büros wiederfinden könnte:
der Beratungsgebühren-Katalog.
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Tags:
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Kommentare
18.01.2006
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http://uahh.de/blog/merkblatt-f%C3%BCr-edv-nutzer" title="Merkblatt für EDV-Nutzer ">Merkblatt für EDV-Nutzer
Schon fast historisch und seit längerem im Umlauf, aber immer noch mit einem sehr wahren Kern: das Merkblatt für EDV-Nutzer.
An alle User:
1. Wenn jemand von der EDV-Abteilung sagt, dass er gleich vorbeikommt, melde Dich vom System ab und geh einen Kaffee trinken. Es ist für uns kein Problem, uns 700 Passwörter zu merken.
2. Wenn Du uns rufst um Deinen Computer von einem ins andere Büro zu tragen, vergewissere Dich, dass er unter Tonnen von Postkarten, Kinderbildern, Stofftieren, vertrockneten Blumen und Kinderkritzeleien begraben ist. Wir haben kein eigenes Leben und wir lieben es, tief unter dem Müll in irgend etwas Glibberiges von Dir zu greifen.
3. Wenn Du von der EDV-Abteilung eine E-Mail mit höchster Dringlichkeit bekommst, lösche sie sofort. Wahrscheinlich testen wir nur die öffentlichen Mailverteiler.
4. Wenn ein EDV-Mitarbeiter an seinem Schreibtisch sein Mittagessen verzehrt, gehe direkt zu ihm, überschütte ihn mit Vorwürfen und Deinen Computerproblemen und erwarte von ihm, dass er sofort antwortet. Wir existieren einzig um zu dienen und wir denken immer nur an die Reparatur von Computern.
5. Wenn sich ein EDV-Mitarbeiter ein Mineralwasser holt oder er eine Zigarette raucht, frag ihn irgend etwas über Computer. Der einzige Grund warum wir Mineralwasser trinken oder rauchen ist, dass wir nach Usern suchen, die weder E-Mail noch Telefon besitzen.
6. Wenn Du einen EDV-Mitarbeiter per Telefon direkt anrufst, drücke die 5 um die automatische Begrüßung zu umgehen, in der Dir mitgeteilt wird, dass der Mitarbeiter zur Zeit im Urlaub ist. Sprich Deine Nachricht auf den Anrufbeantworter und warte exakt 24 Stunden, bevor Du eine Beschwerde per E-Mail direkt an den Vorgesetzten schickst, weil Dich niemand zurückgerufen hat.
7. Wenn der Fotokopierer nicht funktioniert, das Zimmerlicht nicht angeht oder die Kaffeemaschine geleert werden muss, ruf die EDV-Abteilung. Schließlich ist da auch Elektronik drin, oder?
8. Wenn Du zu Hause beim Verbindungsaufbau per Modem eine Fehlermeldung wie: "Kein Wählton" oder "No Dial Tone" bekommst, ruf die EDV-Abteilung. Wir können sogar Telefonprobleme von hier aus lösen.
9. Wenn irgend etwas mit Deinem Privat-PC nicht in Ordnung ist, stell ihn auf den Stuhl oder Tisch in der EDV-Abteilung. Hinterlasse keinen Namen, keine Telefonnummer und vor allem keine Beschreibung des Problems. Wir lieben es, ein gutes Rätsel zu lösen.
10. Wenn Du einen EDV-Mitarbeiter am Telefon hast, der mit Dir durch die Menüs geht um einen Eintrag zu ändern, lies Zeitung oder tu irgend etwas anderes. Wir wollen nicht wirklich, dass Du etwas tust. Wir lieben es, uns selbst reden zu hören.
11. Wenn wir ein Training für die nächste Version des Betriebssystems anbieten, fühle Dich nicht belästigt. Wir werden da sein um Dein Händchen zu halten, wenn es vorbei ist.
12. Wenn der Drucker nicht drucken will, sende den Druckauftrag 20 Mal. Druckaufträge verschwinden nämlich ohne jeden Grund im Nirgendwo.
13. Wenn der Drucker nach 20 Versuchen immer noch nicht drucken will, sende den Druckauftrag an alle 68 Drucker in der Firma. Einer von ihnen wird schon drucken.
14. Benutze nie die Online-Hilfe (das ist die Hilfe, die von jedem Programm angeboten wird). Das ist etwas für Schwächlinge.
15. Wenn Du irgendeinen Computerführerschein bei der VHS oder ähnlichem machst, geh ruhig in der Abteilung rum und "verbessere" Treiber und Programme auf Deinem und auf allen Rechnern Deiner Mitarbeiter. Wir sind dankbar für die Überstunden die wir haben, wenn wir bis 3:00 Uhr morgens die daraus resultierenden Probleme beheben müssen.
16. Wenn ein EDV-Mitarbeiter um 12:30 Uhr Deinen Computer repariert, mach Mittag und achte darauf, dass er mitbekommt wie lecker das Essen schmeckt. Wir arbeiten besser, wenn uns vor Hunger ein wenig schwindelig ist.
17. Danke uns niemals. Wir lieben die Arbeit UND wir werden dafür bezahlt!
18. Wenn Dich ein EDV-Mitarbeiter fragt, ob Du irgendeine neue Software auf Deinem Rechner installiert hast, LÜGE! Es geht niemanden etwas an, was auf Deinem Rechner ist.
19. Wenn das Mauskabel droht, Deine Kaffeetasse umzuwerfen, heb Deinen Monitor an und quetsch das Kabel darunter ein. Mauskabel sind ausschließlich dafür entworfen worden um 20 Kg Monitorgewicht zu ertragen.
20. Wenn die Leertaste auf Deiner Tastatur nicht mehr funktioniert, mach das neue Mailprogramm oder etwas anders dafür verantwortlich. Übrigens: Tastaturen arbeiten wesentlich besser, wenn sich Brotkrümel, Kaffee oder dicke Tropfen klebrige Cola unter den Tasten befinden.
21. Wenn Du von einem Programm eine Nachricht mit dem Text: "Sind Sie sicher", oder "Are you sure" erhältst, klick so schnell wie möglich auf den "JA" oder "YES" - Button. Verdammt, wenn Du nicht sicher wärst, würdest Du das ja nicht tun, oder?
22. Fühle Dich völlig frei Dinge zu sagen wie: "Ich weiß überhaupt nichts über diesen Computer Dreck". Es ärgert uns überhaupt nicht, wenn man unseren recht anspruchsvollen Bereich als Dreck bezeichnet.
23. Wenn der Toner eines Druckers gewechselt werden muß, ruf die EDV-Abteilung. Einen Toner zu wechseln ist eine äußerst komplexe Angelegenheit und die Druckerhersteller erwarten, dass diese Aufgabe nur von professionellen Ingenieuren mit einem Doktor in Nuklear-Physik durchgeführt wird.
24. Wenn irgendwas mit Deinem Computer nicht stimmt, sag Deiner Sekretärin, dass sie die EDV-Abteilung anrufen soll. Wir lieben das Spielchen, mit einer dritten Person ein Problem zu klären von dem Sie absolut überhaupt nichts weiß.
25. Wenn du per E-Mail eine 30 Megabyte große Datei erhältst, sende sie mit höchster Priorität an jeden Mitarbeiter der Firma. Wir haben unendliche Massen an Festplattenspeicher und Rechnerkapazität auf unserem Mail-Server.
26. Denke niemals daran, große Druckaufträge in kleine aufzuteilen. Gott verbietet es, irgend jemand anderem zu gestatten, auch zu drucken.
27. Wenn Du am Samstag einen EDV-Mitarbeiter im Supermarkt triffst, frag ihn irgend etwas über Computer. Wir arbeiten 24 Stunden an 7 Tagen die Woche und darum auch im Supermarkt am Wochenende.
28. Wenn Dein Sohn ein Informatikstudent ist, lass ihn am Wochenende in die Firma kommen, damit er seine Projekte an Deinem schnellen Büro-PC machen kann. Wir werden da sein, wenn seine illegale Kopie von Visual Basic 6.0 die Finanzbuchhaltung abstürzen läßt.
29. Wenn Du uns Deinen brandneuen Privat-PC ins Büro bringst, um ihn kostenlos von uns reparieren zu lassen, sag uns wie dringend wir ihn reparieren müssen, damit Dein Sohn ganz schnell wieder Doom, Quake oder Moorhuhn spielen kann. Wir werden sofort mit der Reparatur beginnen, da wir jede Menge freie Zeit haben.
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Tags:
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Kommentare
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1
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